I wonder if I’d be any happier if I charged fatigue rent to stay?
During my disability hearing, I said to the judge – I’m not dependable anymore, and it is one of the things I hate the most. I used to always be the dependable one, but MS kidnapped my dependability and I can’t afford the ransom. The kind little old grandmother of a judge said to me, listen – do something that brings you joy everyday, and when you get tired – just stop. Don’t worry, just do what you can, and then stop when you can’t do anymore.
I really appreciated her telling me that as opposed to hearing – ‘suck it up’, only because I would ‘suck it up’ quite a bit. People comparing pre MS me and post MS me, still can’t fathom it. They’ll never understand how utterly discouraging their expectations of me were and sometimes still are.
It was really nice to hear someone acknowledge that I’m trying.
These days, I don’t suck it up half as much as I used to. If I’m NOT feeling it, I’m not risking ending up bed ridden for 3 days. No Ma’am, no sir!